A bag for everything

I use a lot of different bags. Not only do I like and accumulate all sorts of seat packs, panniers, stuff sacks, dry bags, day packs, back packs, pouches, totes and other containers for carrying. I also use the suffix -bag for purposes of critical commentary.

Think about how many -bag insults you know. You can attach "bag" to almost any word and make it sound insulting with the right inflection. Branch out from the usual dirt, hair,  scum, sleaze and douche. Savor the rich profanity goodness of s*** and f***. Then experiment.  Everything's better with -bag.

This morning I was stomping right along up Main Street, approaching Mill Street. I hadn't signaled for my turn yet from my position right of center in the travel lane. A Prius was waiting at the stop sign. Before I could signal, I noticed the driver making a permissive, "go ahead" sort of beckoning wave at me from behind the glass of his fishbowl window.

Ignoring the gesture I signaled and dropped into the right turn. But I was muttering, "Yeah, f***bag, like I need your permission. If I was going straight I would not need your indulgence either . You pull out on me you're breaking the law. Douchebag." Then it occurred to me that, as misguided as this idiot was, he was trying to be nice. So I came up with a new bag for just such people: nicebag.

Nicebags are the people who have inadvertently done something stupid and possibly dangerous from the best of intentions. They're still wrong and possibly infuriating. But they truly believe they're improving the situation.

I'll test the terminology for a while to see if it holds up to real - world stress.