Saturday, March 05, 2011

I can't say much for 2011 so far

My exercise has consisted of shoveling snow, skiing a handful of times and carrying a friend's coffin. He was one of my wife's brothers, 47 years old, with a wife and three children. The oldest child was from his previous marriage.

Averages are made of highs and lows. Since the beginning of the year, events have been more crap-heavy. No one can say how long this period might last. I don't believe things come in threes. And who's to say you don't get multiples of three or overlapping threes? Crap is crap. You prevent what you can, but some will find you. Then you find your way out unless, as in dead Jon's case, it is your terminal issue of crap. Guess what! Your heart's fucked! Sayonara.

This is why I try to have policies, not plans. Plans get wrecked. A policy merely states your intent given a certain set of circumstances. If it has to be adjusted, it's easier than digging your way out from under the collapsed structure of elaborate arrangements. A policy is based on principle: I will ride. I will eat reasonably nutritiously. I will think. I will write. I will draw. I will practice the violin. I will get the household chores done. I will keep going to work. You can't be disappointed if you weren't looking forward to anything.

New items get added: I will comfort the grieving. I will go where I am needed.

We had just completed the first year after the cellist's mother's death when her brother dropped. I will hope that we don't have to deal with such a thing again for a long, long time. However, I know that absolutely nothing is guaranteed. Whatever happens will be dealt with.


RCMC467 said...

Hang in there man, it's the best you can do.

Justine Valinotti said...

I'm glad you're back. My condolences to you and your wife.

Ham said...

Sorry to hear that. Over this side, despite having some similar crap (hardly been riding at all in 2011, did my knee on first morning of a ski holiday, other sh1t etc) I can't help feeling optimistic about 2011.

Velouria said...

Please accept my sympathies.

Averages are made of highs and lows only in statistical data. In life, a month of highs and lows sure as heck isn't average.

cafiend said...

Thanks to all of you for your support. Normal has changed. We won't know for a while yet how different our lives might be, since the cellist is facing a progressive illness and in this country we do not take care of our citizens. "Get rich or die trying" has won out over "We're all in this together." I personally don't believe it and won't live that way, but people like me are clearly outvoted and outspent. Just believing that life shouldn't be a constant conflict drops you right into a major conflict. Weird, huh?