Last night I received this email from my colleague Big G, briefing me on the day's events so I could be prepared for what might await me.
Today was off the wall! Sucking chest wounds punctuated by needy and stupid renters all day long.
Well, today we have a new family to add to our infamous hall of shame. First there were "The Chiselers of Weston", then "The Chaos Family" and now, "The Mayhems from Florida". Yes, "The Mayhems of Florida". All seven rented mountain bikes to ride The Cotton Valley Trail.
I put Mom on the hybrid step-through, Big Sis on The Queen, next sis on The Duchess and the rest on assorted mountain bikes from our stable. Only two out of the seven chose to wear helmets, Mom and Big Sis.
Four hours later, while I was test riding a bike out back, the youngest son rode into the parking lot stating the others would soon follow. Five more pulled in.
Mom was scraped up and bleeding from her hip to her foot. Her arm was bleeding too. I asked her what happened and she said she was watching a blue jay. I told her she could get cleaned up in our rest room and that we have band-aids but she declined and said she would treat her wounds with vodka. Then she said her daughter might be in worse shape with a broken wrist. Just then, Big Sis appeared clutching her wrist while Middle Sis wheeled the bikes. I told Mom where the hospital is but she said they would have "lunch" first.
Then there was Johnny, (Or whatever his name is.) "Where is Johnny? He was RIGHT behind us!" At that moment a car going down Mill Street slammed on its brakes and screeched to a stop in front of the deli. "Oh, here he comes now."
I gave the bikes a quick lookover and I think they are okay. The way things were going I didn't have a lot of time to really check over things the right way. If you rent the queen or the Giant hybrid step-through tomorrow give them another quick look, just in case.
........and, watch out for mayhem, or The Mayhems. -G"
The Queen and The Duchess are nicknames for our two best step-through rental bikes.
Sounds like summer chaos has really blossomed.