Sunday, August 03, 2014

Nightmares and dreams come true

 On Friday morning I pulled out of my driveway feeling unambitious. But when I pulled onto Elm Street I fell in behind a mini van stuck behind a road grader. The grader was in transit, not grading anything. As the motor vehicles accelerated into the 20s I tucked in behind the van and drafted along with them.

On the little rise beyond the Pine River Bridge the grader dogged out and the mini van yanked around it. Without thinking, I went with the breakaway and stayed behind the van. Without the grader to restrain it it rapidly dropped me. But now I was in front of the snorting yellow beast. And I was opening a gap, but for how long?

The driver of the grader did not seem inclined to push it, but he wasn't backing down, either. I didn't want to look back, so I just kept pushing. On the level I could hold my gap. On the climbs I could actually gain if I stayed on the edge of anaerobic. On the descents I just had to hope I could stay out enough to regain my lead when terrain worked in my favor.

The whole time I could hear the grumble of the monster chasing me, like something in a nightmare.

I made it to Route 16 and stopped at the gas company to pay my bill. When I came out the grader was just coming down 16. For a moment I considered sprinting out in front of him again, but I was afraid he might not share my sense of humor. I took an extra few seconds fiddling with my toe strap until he went by.

On the way out of Wolfe City on Saturday after work I got to witness a delectable bit of instant karma.

On Bay Street I pulled out to cover the lane because there was  oncoming traffic and I heard a car coming up behind me. The car behind me, a little blue MG B, decided to cram his way through anyway. Pretty ballsy move for a low-riding car with no top, but drivers are not rational. I yelled something about how he should slow down and wait, but he ignored me like a gnat.
I did not try to sprint him down, but I kept my speed up in case I got lucky and caught him.
He was not in sight at the end of Bay Street. I swept the right and grunted to the crest of the downhill. I tucked and let it rip down around the bend. There he was at the intersection. In fact, he was at kind of a weird angle.
His car was stalled dead, right in the middle of the intersection. He had traffic blocked in both directions. As I breezed past him I said, "Wow, doesn't THAT suck!"
Waaaa ha ha ha ha ha ha!!!

A truly noble person would have stopped to help the driver push his derelict car out of the intersection, but I wasn't wearing my car-pushing shoes. Besides, such nobility is really self-aggrandizing anyway. Other motorists were already leaping out of their cars to help clear the street. The best thing I could do was get the heck out of there. I actually held my laughter until I was out of sight and earshot.

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