Walked in first thing to find the typical home mechanic who has completely disassembled his freewheel while trying to figure out how to remove it. He has the parts in a plastic bag: a thirty-gallon garbage bag. Except for the little galaxy of eighth-inch ball bearings. Those are all stuffed inside the hub shell.
"Doc, I tried to take my own appendix out. That's not my appendix, is it? And is this much bleeding normal? Am I in trouble? The room is getting dark."
Actually, this guy was a really good sport. We figured out how to straighten out his situation, but then he decided to just buy a new bike instead. He'll bring in the mutilated body of his old one for me to reanimate at my leisure.